Energised Mum

  • Energised Mum

    5 tips to help us flourish as Mums

    - by Jeni

    Yesterday, I was invited to attend a ‘Positive Birth’ meeting in Bedford, a group to discuss all the ways you can make the birth of your child and those early months more positive. A lot of us tend to reflect on the birth of our children fondly anyway, but the experience can be pretty traumatic at the time, so helping yourself to prepare is always a benefit. 

    Along with the physical preparations, I think it’s useful to think beyond the birth and how you’ll cope with those tough emotional times. Below is a little handout I gave to the lovely ladies with a few tips you can practice now and exercise on a daily basis to increase those positive emotions. 

  • Energised Mum

    How to live a more appreciative life – the power of appreciation and positive questions

    - by Jeni

    I recently came back from a week in Paris studying something called ‘Appreciative Inquiry’ – it’s a lesser known method of change management within business focussing on what works well and doing more of it . (And yes, I know ‘Inquiry’ is spelt the American way, it annoys me too, but the founder insists on it). I want to look at it in a less business way here…

    It all stems from the feeling of “What we focus on, grows”, so if we focus on the problem, the problem will grow – however much we try to fix it, whereas with Appreciative Inquiry, the idea is to focus on what works and what is going well – so in turn, this grows.

    It sounds super simple and actually it is. Ultimately, instead of dwelling on the problem, you create an alignment of your strengths that in turn; make the weaknesses irrelevant.

  • Energised Mum

    From Mum to Me – creating an ‘Arrive at Me’ routine.

    - by Jeni

    Let’s start with the obvious sentence, Motherhood is hard. It’s rewarding at times and the combination of love and pride has an incredible warming ability – but it’s tough. Sometimes we struggle through weeks, days and even hours without much understanding of what we’re actually doing. It can be both emotionally and physically exhausting and incredibly frustrating at times – but we’re supposed to enjoy it right? And want to spend every waking second with our beloved offspring.

  • Energised Mum

    How to be that little bit braver

    - by Jeni

    Bravery was always a big part of my character, I loved making tough decisions and generally always took the most challenging route, plus I was a big adrenaline seeker in my younger years having trained as an outdoor pursuits instructor. The pang of excitement on choosing a risky path always kept me feeling like I was moving forward – and even if it turned out to be the wrong decision, I felt content knowing I’d given it a go.

    Since having my little girl, I haven’t recognised bravery much in myself. The new feelings of requiring security for my little girl and our family seemed to conflict badly with that need for a bit of adrenaline. I wrote a blog last week about the internal character conflict new-motherhood can bring, if you’re interested.

  • Energised Mum

    Who am I? A story of internal character conflict post-baby.

    - by Jeni

    This week, I’ve had a complete case of wondering who the hell i am.

    Firstly, I’ve become totally obsessed with the soundtrack from “The Greatest Showman” – not only is the music incredibly powerful and moving, but it stars the rather lovely Hugh Jackman, who is neatly easy on the eye. (or as my friend now calls him ‘Huge Action’ – which always gives me a cheeky giggle). However, it has weirdly prompted a lot of reflection on my life at the moment.

    Recently, I’ve become pretty frustrated with myself, I feel I’m fighting an internal conflict of ‘old’ me (pre-baby) and ‘new’ me (Mum!).

  • Energised Mum

    Invest in Self-Compassion…

    - by Jeni

    The new year usually brings new challenges and new beginnings. It can also, for us Mum’s bring a lot of uncertainly, worry about the future and a LOT of critical thought.

    How will I manage to achieve it all?
    I won’t have the time.
    I don’t have the knowledge or skill.
    I’m not good enough to do this.
    All the flaws in my child are my fault.
    I can’t do it.

    Do any of these sound familiar? If you’re anything like me, then ALL of them have crossed your mind at one point or another and maybe all in the last week!

    So how can we help ourselves in these situations? Well, setting goals is a good start and I’ll write a blog post about that soon, but even with challenging, but achievable goals. It’s our own inner critic that can hold us back. This is where self-compassion helps.

  • Energised Mum

    Your inner elephant…

    - by Jeni

    I read a brilliant book the other day called “The happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt. Although Positive Psychology has been claimed to be the ‘Science of Happiness’ – I’m not someone who thinks happiness is something you can search for, it’s something you have to work for, it takes effort, time and a true understanding of what makes you, personally feel good. Without investigating this within yourself, happiness is something you’ll always strive for, but not really know how to get.

    Anyway, the book gave me 4 pretty insightful take-aways that I thought I’d explore here in relation to motherhood:

  • Energised Mum

    How to dispute your worries as a Mum…

    - by Jeni

    For a lot of Mums, anxiety is our middle name. We worry about everything, whether they’re eating right, growing properly, developing at the average pace, behaving well and sleeping well. There’s a lot of responsibility on our shoulders and sometimes we can get totally overwhelmed when we think things are going wrong.

  • Energised Mum

    Banish the fear of failure as a Mum

    - by Jeni

    I watched a pretty powerful TED talk the other day by Eduardo Briceño all about how we try our best to achieve things, whether this is in work, life or motherhood.

    Essentially, he described two zones: The Learning zone and the Performance zone.

    The learning zone is where we sit when we’re trying to improve ourselves, trying new things, attempting to master new techniques and making mistakes in order to learn from them. In our performance zone, the goal is to execute something we’re already good and minimise those mistakes – in fact, mistakes are seen as a failure in the performance zone as effectively, we believe we should already be good at those skills.

  • Energised Mum

    Be a strong mum…

    - by Jeni

    I’ve had a good life, I have fantastic, loving parents who gave me a multitude of opportunities and crafted my being so well they are still very much my best friends. I’ve travelled, I’ve worked my way up the career ladder to a leader with a real talent in creative marketing & run my own business. I’ve competed at a high level in sport and thrown myself off some pretty high cliffs – both physically and metaphorically! Those around me would have described me as gregarious, confident, kind and very much a driven doer, always striving for challenge.